"I am told to just be myself, but as much as I have practiced the impression, I am still no good at it." ~Robert Brault
Often times we can
hear ourselves saying, ‘I am just not like this, I am behaving this way coz of
blah blah blah reasons,…I was such a patient person, I used to be so jovial, I
used to be so positive, I used to a replacement for the word good & excellent!..(Man!)... But, now, I am having to change bcoz my circumstances are like this, bcoz I
am not working, bcoz my health is bad, bcoz my husband doesn’t understand, bcoz
I miss my family and friends, because I don’t get a break from work!’ Yes, I recurrently
speak such stuff. Result, I am only irritating me! Really, I am irritated with myself
for the first time. I gotta accept that if this is what I am saying, for a good
year or more, then it might as well be that I have changed. Indeed,
circumstances do change us. But, isn’t it the ‘Test of life', to go
through these circumstances and not change for the worse?
Yes, it is the truth,
I am a person who has lost a lot of my patience, so I have to term myself impatient. Hard to tag yourself this
way, right? As though, we fear it is gonna become a permanent tag. But, can we not keep
this tag, call the spade a spade and then try to change our game? Yes, change
to the reverse gear and prove it that I was patient. Oh lord, why this denial! Often,
I hear from relatives who are post 50yrs of age that they used to be this and that when
they were young, and mind you, since my birth I wouldn’t have seen them that
way! What are they speaking??? But, before I point towards others, I should be
the first one to bloody accept, right
or wrong reasons, fair or unfair, that, I have changed a lot in bad ways and may
be a little for the good too. So, relieving my own soul, for my own good, I Nitsvitz
accept that I am impatient, I am moody, I am short tempered, I am lazy and few more
things. Yes, Yes, I was not like this before. To hell with that. Haha, but, I
got the reality check ‘on’ now. I know
my hubby will be upset to see I am writing such stuff coz he is too soft on me,
but, hopefully he realizes this step is for my own betterment.
6 comments:
Yup .. I agree we cant be the same ...You as a person change for what so ever reason... And when people around you start noticing it and try to tell you that you have changed.. It really tough to accept it... Hmmm but yeah accepting is the best way and try working on it and get back to ur usually self.. Nice post nitvitz... Wish you a fantastic 2012 !
Ha! First off..I love the title of this post..so youuu..I can almost hear you saying that :) And second, the post is amazing..So truthful and honest! Loved it! We have all been there when we go through situations and see the situations change us for better or for worse :) Love the thought behind it! Yup, why not just say it out loud , it is almost therapeutic! I have changed too in some positive and in negative ways and I used to hide behind excuses all the time but yes, I am not ashamed to say I am superficial, too obsessed with material things, lazy and too laid back for my own good..phew..That feels goooood :) will talk soon :*
Hey dimple, wish u a great new year too! Thanks for the comment! I know accepting always becomes the big deal. However, like u mentioned, no one actually told me about my changes, i am glad i realised b4 it could come from others:)
@ chickweets, thnku thnku! I agree it felt theraputic! Haha, liked ur confessions too! Bt, dont b so hard on urself now! Ufff! Hum ladkiyaan bhi!
Realizing it yourself is always good.. But in my case others did :D
I think we all change for the good or bad and when we change against our wishes, thats what makes us angry and frustrated. What I have learnt from my post marriage experiences is that i need to strive to be who i am and keep my individuality. I need to change but i will welcome only natural changes and not the imposed ones...I used to be frustrated of what I have become but not any more, i have found my peace in my own ways... also everybody's situation is different and hence ways of coping up are also different :)
But yes, i am, no I always was impatient, lazy and materialistic and short tempered :) :)
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