So where to draw the line---------?

Well the reason I named my website 'A-fine-line' was because I feel in this world it’s that thin line which separates everything. Love from hate, night from day, fat from thin. Even though one subject might get multiple opinions, there is always a universal standard set. Who has set it? May be our ancestors, may be today’s youth, may be the media, and may be all of them together. Funny thing is how blindly we all follow it. Today, however, I wanted to talk about drawing the line in terms of talking/commenting/letting out our opinions to friends and family.

Why has the world become so vulnerable that whatever we might say can have an evil interpretation? For instance, when I was doing my Masters in Germany, on one usual day, I happened to compliment a girl in my class, as I had noticed that she came to college with a different hair do.  My compliment was, “ Hey X, you are looking different!” (yes, there was really an exclamation in my  intonation and a highly positive one with a smiley attached). But, her face sank and she almost feeling offended said to me, “Oh is it so bad?”.  I, obviously, immediately, started to defend my statement and told her that I meant she looked very nice, sweet and simple. Oh! there you go, I didn’t realize that it would become negative again. The half German and Russian couldn’t understand my Indo-Asian meaning of “Simple” and said.” What do you mean simple? (frowning her eyebrows). By now, I felt whatever comes out of my mouth will just sound wrong. So, I just ended it by saying, I mean you are looking very beautiful. Well, that was that. She didn’t seem to believe me anyway.  Now my question is, if I had to pass a nasty comment on her, why would I stop her in the hallway and tell it on her face. I mean, may be some people do that, but she knew me for almost a year then, and I have always been kind to her, why on earth, would I do that? I wouldn’t even do it to my haters!

Another time, a very close family friend just stopped visiting us because I had complimented her and she thought I was mean. Since there was no guilt in my heart, I never even realized that she had stopped coming to our place, until she told my mom how hurt she was with my comment. Alright, misunderstandings happen, that is why we have that word. But, where is the moral responsibility of people to come and give you a benefit of doubt and ask you to explain yourself. Where is the trust, when you know me since my diaper days and haven’t had a single history of anything bad? So, this close friend stood first in her university and got a gold medal. To share her happiness, she came home with sweets. My mom wasn’t at home, so I was the only one attending her. In a similar circumstance, my mom would say, “hey congratulations, I wish you have many more of such victories and may you get more and more chances to come and share it with us”. This sounds kinda very nice in my native language Bengali. But those days, I wasn’t so good at Hindi and I said the same in Hindi and she thought I meant something like: ‘ you are such a show off to run and come to our house all the time’. My oh My! It has been almost 15 years, we talk to eachother and everything, but I hope that someday, she understands that I just couldn’t have meant anything bad towards her and it was just my 'Hindi' that’s it!

Well I can go on and on, but I wish to stop here. I would expect people to trust each-other more. Remove the doubts in your mind. I know I myself would have misunderstood many, and I am genuinely sorry for that. One should not feel shy to come and ask for an explanation. It can only make things better. Don’t forget to look at the bottom line always. My dad says,  “if you are in a doubt whether or not to cross the road, choose not to (pessimistic approach), because that cannot harm you and if you are in a doubt whether a friend or loved one meant to hurt you, believe that they didn’t mean to (optimistic approach).”

A Special Mention

A special thanks to Chickweets http://chicklogger.blogspot.com/ for making me start this blog. This has blog/webpage has become a dear friend in the time of my need. Good friends are those who help us get the best of out of ourselves. Love you Flo!

10 Reasons why plus sizes are blissful

I am taking this opportunity to represent the plus size or say the “healthier” side of the world and have a good time. I intend no personal offense to anyone I know, 'living or dead'. So please chill!

1.       We have lesser options to choose from. So, no standing for hours in the wardrobe figuring out what to wear. There will always be a fixed set of 10 clothes which fits perfectly.

2.       These sections in the store are less crowded and surprisingly the fitting room helpers are always available to help.

3.       We can concentrate more on jewellery, makeup and accessories.

4.       Don’t need to follow fashion trends, as they any way don’t care for the heavier side of the world.

5.       We don’t have a ‘need to buy’ wish list, coz* we have an almost new wardrobe waiting for us to fit back in. Yes we are hopeful to fit back in.

6.       We shop less. Save lots of your and your husbands’ money. Happy husbands equals h appy life.

7.       No competition! What a relief that is! We leave that for all the slimz & sexies. Not that we are not sexy. But there is no plus to plus competition going on. We are more understanding of each other and the world. Often times you will find us exchanging smiles. Most of us would have seen the good, bad and the ugly days.

8.       At least, we aren’t afraid that people love us because we are thin. They surely love us for something more substantial and permanent.

9.       People who have seen this side of the world are less likely to have a midlife crisis because even those skinny gals gotta touch the old wrinkly age and we all know Botox only makes you look older and fake. Whereas, the plus guys would have already known how to deal with the image challenges and would be happily hanging around their compassionate society. Btw*, chubby-ness catches fewer wrinkles! No wonder the skinny's are injecting buttock fat in their faces these days! Gosh oh gosh all these years of dieting for this? ( By skinny I mean the people who on purpose want to be zeros or minus figures and not care about their health. I have equal compassion for the people who are also struggling to put on weight)

10.   Lastly, all you marketing guys…it just won’t work! We buy clothes when we think it’s right!

The above article is not meant to get sympathies from the part of the world that hasn’t experienced something like this. It is also not to prove plus is better. It is just an insight of our lifestyle.  We will always appreciate the thin and the healthy side of the world for their efforts to be a specimen for health and effectiveness. I wanted to rejoice this challenging time. I am determined to one day put up my weight loss story on the same blog. However, this, I shall do not for any stupid socio-economic pressures but solely for my own well being. Health is everything. I believe humor is the best way to not hang and sulk in your sorrow. Everyone has a reason why they are putting on unhealthy weight or losing weight. Challenge is not to lose or gain but to know why we have gained or lost. I have figured out my reasons, so can you. You got to know why you eat more/ or less, exercise or don’t exercise…and not think, ‘oh I am plus coz I eat more’.  Just find out what makes you eat more or what makes you be laid back and you will for sure enter the “healthy” side of the world. And, btw, every person’s ‘healthy’ is exclusive and equally beautiful.

BTW* - By the way

Coz* -because

The Muffin story

Aaaahaaahh, I will be talking about a not so proud moment. We were at a breakfast place today, I ordered a Veggie omelet, I mean Omelet with veggies in it..Haha, I know it wasn't funny. I just thought it might be confusing how can an egg get veggie or was the chicken a vegetarian? OMG! I can get way more annoying than one can imagine.
So, this dish of mine came with English muffins on the side. I cannot believe that I thought a muffin is always a cupcake kinda looking thing wrapped in a paper cup or sometimes not. When I ordered, the waiter asked if I wanted butter on my muffin. I was a little confused, but said no ('No' might always be a safer choice). Finally, I got my dish and then asked my hubby where was the English muffin. He, as unaware and Indian by heart as me, said, "hmm..I think, she forgot". Then I had a doubt if the little bun looking thing on my plate was called an English Muffin. So, anyway, we began eating and after a while, I thought why not check on the Iphone to clear the confusion. I asked my husband to pass me the Iphone. He didn't know why I was asking for phone nor did he care as his cheese omelet kept him too busy. Even before I could switch on the phone, the waiter was around our table, and imagine the next in slow blurry motion. My husband dearest in a very 'audible' tone reaches out to the waiter and asks, "Where...are... the.. English.. muffins...? Are  these (slower motion).....breads ...(slower)...'Theeee MUFFINSSSS'!!!!?"  As-though the time stopped, all the people became statues and my husbands words echoed across the planet! OMG, I just wanted the earth to split apart so I could vanish into it. It seemed like a slow death right on the table..haha..I know my exaggeration!  Hello, if men can have big issues to ask for directions, because it hits their ego, why can't they relate that women never want to come accross like this (dumbo, bimbo) in a restaurant! My embarassment was brewing inside me... I just smiled and returned the Iphone. Of-course, ahemm..I did say a word or two after that to my husband..wasn't bad at all (WINK)!

Ok, I will never forget the difference between a muffin/ English muffin / Russian muffin or watever muffin anymore. Common, previously, I would think that the biscuits they serve in Cheesecake factory would be like those Glucose, ParleG or Britannia biscuits in India, but,  did I ever let anyone know? NOOOO...

"I DO"

So, today I was at the Doctors' and over heard an " I do". Usually one can associate an "I Do" with marriage vows...at least I do! Suddenly I had a moment after hearing those words.

Life is all about realising and feeling the different phases. And there is always a knock on your door to tell you, "hey gal, you are well in you next phase of life now". By this, I don't mean that if you marry, or have kids or graduate- thats a knock. A knock will always be very subtle and will hit you straight in your heart. Today, when I had this so called knock, I realized that there will be this phase in life which most of us, if alive, will go through and dear its  not very pretty. In this phase, we will know that no matter what, we are all gonna be a 'ticking time bomb'. Yes I am talking about the Old age! And yes, I also know there is no point fearing death and that all of us have to Die. But, just imagine, when we run a blood test or an MRI or anything of that sort, our hearts pound till we know its all good. Because that one bad news can turn us into a 'ticking bomb' and can devastate us. But to naturally reach there is very different. Its almost like, ok this is what happens, so just accept it!

Now, let me tell you about the " I do". I have been booking several doctor appointments of late, and just when they verify all my insurance and blah blah details, they also ask me if I am having a living will. I very casually without a thought say " No". It's a different thing that I hardly have anything to even think of making a will, and that very word 'will', seems like it's only for the pre-ghost period. So, today an old lady walked into the Doctors office, she was barely vertical. The receptionist, as usual, with her many questions asked her,"Mam, do you have a living will?" and she very subtly said, "I DO". It was then that the knock came to me and I couldn't help but wonder, how would it be for a person to say this "I do " as a part of their routine life. As-though the receptionist has already checked that box before hand. To know that the whole world knows about your dreadfull illness(OLD AGE) and they are so prepared for you to Die can be so hopeless and unacceptable! And, as if the wrinkles weren't telling enough, the receptionist needs to knock and make you answer that "I do" in her multiple questionnaire form!

We all dream of the "I do" I had mentioned earlier, but surely not this one!